The Marriage Market

Marriage? Hmm. It used to be an intriguing topic—until I turned 25, 26, and found myself becoming a part of it. For the longest time, I dreamt of finding the right person, getting married in a typical Tamil ceremony, creating memories together, attending weddings as a couple, going on vacations, having a child or two, growing old together—you know, just the usual.

Growing up, marriage wasn’t something I ever discussed with my parents. They never initiated the conversation, and I wasn’t keen on bringing it up either.

The only thought that would occasionally cross my mind about marriage was this: I didn’t want to marry a Tamil boy. Now, you might ask why. I have my reasons. Mainly, I’ve never been exposed to Tamil boys who I found attractive or intellectually stimulating. The ones I did know never seemed to be my type. That was the primary reason I never felt drawn to them. Also, I’m not very religious, so the idea of marrying into a Tamil household—where I might be expected to participate in pujas, fasting, and other religious rituals—felt daunting and foreign to me.

Since childhood, I’ve always dreamt of being a Christian bride. Perhaps it’s because it seemed more modern to me. My neighbors were Catholics, and I’ve always been inclined toward their practices. Of course, the grass always seems greener on the other side.

As I grew up, I had my share of ups and downs, and before I knew it, I was 25 and officially "on the market." Relatives started asking about my marriage plans, potential suitors began showing interest, and at family gatherings, fathers casually tried to gauge my sentiments about their sons.

And now, here I am, wondering where I stand. The heart wants what it wants, but the mind—well, it’s busy reasoning everything out. 

Why is marriage so complicated? Should I hold my ground or just go with the flow? Am I too young to understand what awaits me? Is he the right guy? Is this the right family? All of this feels overwhelming. Do my parents really know me well enough to help me choose? Is marriage truly necessary? What if I decide not to marry at all? Is this really what life is about? Is this the pivotal moment everyone talks about? What should I do? Where do I turn for guidance? Should I search within myself for answers? And more importantly, do I even have the answers?