Heartbeats?

Oh, on this random humid day, I slept for hours together in the afternoon. Of course that’s the reason I was up until 2am, or maybe there were other reasons, too. The boyfriend was on a boys' trip to a quaint place in the woods, and I was on my own, missing him, as usual. Now, if it were the typical he’d probably make it clear that he was with his friends and wouldn't be available to text or chat. But the guy I’m seeing is quite the opposite. 

This boy would text as soon as he leaves his house for the villa, text when he reaches, share pictures of the place immediately, video call for a minute or two, and check up on me once in a while. He doesn’t quite fit the ‘typical boyfriend’ mold.

That same day, I was reading 2 States, clearing old pictures from my phone, and came across something about Love Again on Netflix. So I decided to watch the movie, but within the first thirty minutes, I felt sleepy. I let my boyfriend know, sent him some hugs and kisses, and set my phone aside. But I was still wide awake—sleep was nowhere in sight. 

And then I kept tossing and turning on my bed, until I heard my phone chime. Interesting, but the boyfriend immediately video called for a few minutes, just showed me his pretty pretty face before getting busy. Being the person I am, I felt overwhelmed. I started questioning whether I deserve so much, and then comforted myself: maybe I do.

Suddenly, I had a strong desire to feel his heartbeat. I immediately tried to recall the last time I truly cherished what I have. Do I even remember the last time I paid attention to his heartbeat? 

So now, the plan is to plant a kiss on his chest, softly lay my ear on him, and listen to his heartbeat. Ever since, my body and mind have been aching to know what that feels like. (7 July 2024, 2:32 AM)