Sore Loner!? Here's Why!

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What is this life, and what are 24 hours even for, if you do not spend them loving — obsessing over someone?

I truly believe loners — the ones who go through life without finding someone to love when they're on the lookout — are the most neglected children of God. Because honestly, why wouldn't you want to care for someone? To show up for them? To pour your affection into them? To smush their face into your chest and just be?

When you turn 82 — or maybe even 78, since mankind and its life expectancy are in freefall — would you really want to look back and think about your corporate jobs? The Excel shortcuts you mastered? The interns you harassed? The boys you toyed with and kept hanging just for fun?

I’d rather think of all the beautiful relationships I’ve had. The people I got the chance to live with. The days I spent swooning over my 'boys.' The days I couldn’t think of anything else. What is this life if not days and moments filled with love, obsession, dates, bike rides, road trips, traffucked jam sessions, impromptu caresses, and of course — loud pecks and clingy hugs? <3

Once a lover, always a lover! Some people get tamed in conventional ways — by school, college, institutions, or the mechanical rhythm of work. But others? They get tamed in the most beautiful, chaotic, unforgettable way — by love. By emotion. By being needed. By needing back. By holding someone through their mess and letting yourself be held through yours.

But loners — they don’t always get that kind of softening. They stay untouched by that wild, healing kind of surrender. And maybe that’s what makes it all feel a little incomplete.

Science confirms what lovers always knew: the soul doesn’t thrive in isolation. We are wired to love and be loved. Not everyone gets tamed by systems — some human beings are meant to be undone and remade by love. And when that doesn’t happen, it’s not just lonely. It’s incomplete.



PS: According to Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth), forming emotional bonds isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s vital to human development and functioning. People who avoid or never experience these attachments may appear more "independent," but are often protecting themselves from vulnerability, or have been conditioned not to expect emotional safety.

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